I went to a funeral today. I had never been to a funeral, so for the whole morning I was stressing out about what to wear and what not to wear, and how to behave and act and what to say, to be honest it was quite stressful. I had gathered what I do know about funerals from the few scene's in movies and television shows I have seen, so with only that to go by I sat at the bus stop, all dressed in black preparing myself for a somber demeanor. I did not know the person who died well, but she was a relation of my best friend, so I was purely there to support the person I love most in the world, and to be honest nothing could have prepared me for that. In the readings from her son and other family members, there was such raw emotion being shown, such strong intimacy I had to look away at times, it was just to strong and raw. It felt wrong for me to be watching someone I dont even know pouring their heart and tears out for a woman they loved, I felt almost as if I was intruding on a really Intimate moment. When it was time for the priest to talk, I have to admit I was mad. Not only because this man is a representation of 'god' or because he had such a smug look about him, but because he spoke with such utter hypocrisy, he did not know the person who had passed away yet he spoke as if she were a fond friend, all this "she will be happy in heaven and missed by man" bullshit coming out of this man's mouth who did not even know her, clearly he had done so many bloody funerals he had lost all his compassion and dignity. It just felt wrong, it felt wrong and it made me mad that someone could stand up there and speak for all of us and say those things when he himself did not even know her. It got me thinking, does being around death all the time completely numb your sense of self? does it completely destroy all senses of compassion and humility? I dont know, what I do know is I am DEFINITELY not having a priest at my funeral.