I dont think you understand how much pain you cause me, how much sadness I am unwilling to share with you.

I wish you could see, through untainted eyes what you do to me and the wounds you inflict upon me. I wish you could see with an inbiased mind how badly those words that you speak to me hurt, and how much I wish you would learn from your mistakes.

Sometimes I feel so small that all I know how to do is curl up into a little ball at the bottom of my bed under all my sheets pretending nothing can harm me, that from here no words can reach me and no actions can affect me.

Sometimes I feel so small that I dont even have the courage to stand up to you, because like a small animal you spit and shout your words at me while you look down your nose at me thinking that you are so much better than me, that your words and opinions hold so much more authorities than the likes of mine ever will.

Sometimes I feel so small that I wish I was different, how pathetic that someone else who loves me can make me feel like I am not good enough, like I have to constantly change in order to make people happy and full fill their desires.

Sometimes I just want to cry and cry and cry, and sometimes I just want you to see what you have done, to feel bad for what you have done; feel bad enough that you never have to say those things again, that we never have to keep hitting these walls again and that neither of us have to feel so undeniably small and alone.

Sometimes I feel so small when I look up at the night sky and think of all the other people in the world, and realize how insignificant my life really is. Besides the close few people I have in my life the world would not miss my absence and time would not stand still. Sometimes I wish you all would realize this, that the world is so huge that you and your problems are all so fucking small that you all just think your on some bloody microcosm that just revolves around you.

Sometimes I wish you saw what I saw.

I mess up sometimes, but please, I am only human.