I cannot wait to be watching this with you

28-02-10

You tossed a blanket from the bed
You lay upon your back, and waited;
You dozed, and watched the night revealing
The thousand sordid images
Of which your soul was constituted;
They flickered against the ceiling.
And when all the world came back
And the light crept up between the shutters
And you heard the sparrows in the gutters,
You had such a vision of the street
As the street hardly understands;
Sitting along the bed's edge, where
You curled the papers from your hair,
Or clasped the yellow soles of feet
In the palms of both soiled hands

I feel safe

You

are my hero and the one that keeps me going, you make me smile even though you are a complete dick head. Thank you for showing you care, even if it does mean a little ink on your skin.

I think about you a lot... I even dream about you sometimes.

my greatest love

i want

yours.

I now know that I can detach myself, I now know I am stable and relatively happy. I also now know that I can go for what I want. I am not afraid anymore, I am not Dependant anymore, I have fixed myself, all by myself, which truly means I am ready. I hope I get what I want.

I never want to forget, because sanity is the only tie connecting me to all of you, and forgetting is like letting go. Please never let me forget anything. I will be happy, everyday I am getting happier, on my own, which is proof I am stronger. I am happy.

Dear world

You've ruined everything good for me.

dear boy

You are cute :3

one does not simply walk into mordor

The only thing that makes me happy

to whom it may concern

You'll see, one day I'll be happy, happier than you, better than you. Because my smile wont be empty, one day you'll realize that hole cannot be replaced by temporary happiness or bodies. One day.

BIG LOSER

could make me happy even if I was being eaten alive by sharks.

I am trying. Please forgive me for not being as strong as you. I wish I could move on.

all I ever want and need

cannot thank you enough

<3

I tell him Im happy, and her Im happy and you Im happy. But one day I want to believe that. I want to know in my heart that I am happy and that I am the best person I could be, I want to love all of my flaws, not have them stick out at me like sharp objects. I cannot change who I am, so maybe one day You and I will both love me. Until then I am living each day at a time, surfacing to breathe every know and then and remembering who loves me for who I am, You keep me strong.

I love the irony of the "I will never stop loving you or get over you" I love the insanity of your words, yet the satisfactory warmth it left in me. But those were just empty words, you are empty. I have been feeling empty for the past three weeks, and no one can fill that void. The void that stretches on to infinity, and the one you always promised to fill, again another irony on your behalf. I would like to talk all technical using metaphors and juxtapositions all night on your behalf, and believe me I could. But you have left me in a state of unholy feelings. I am stuck between two worlds, limbo, and I cannot get out. I dislike who I have become, and yet now I think about it, you are why I have become this. ultimately I feel no pity for anyone, no sadness or 'oh I can relate' I dont want to relate. I dont want to feel. The only thing you cannot take away from me is myself, and ironically thats all you have left me with.

You think your worth it? THINK AGAIN.

"and yet her smile could never compare to yours, for hers was far to empty"

16-02-10

You are amazing and you make me happy everyday. You just dont know it. Thank you for making me smile, and sending me the silliest texts, I would be completely lost without your hand to pull me back to a warm and welcoming reality. Thank you, your beautiful. and remember YOU SMILE!

words for thought

"I've been on the run, my shadow weighs a ton but its starting to make sense to me"

it feels like your only haunting me